Sermon Title:  God Loves a Cheerful Forgiver

Sermon Text:  2 Corinthians 5:14-19

Sermon Date:  January 13, 2008

 

2 Corinthians 5:11-14That keeps us vigilant, you can be sure. It's no light thing to know that we'll all one day stand in that place of Judgment. That's why we work urgently with everyone we meet to get them ready to face God. God alone knows how well we do this, but I hope you realize how much and deeply we care. We're not saying this to make ourselves look good to you. We just thought it would make you feel good, proud even, that we're on your side and not just nice to your face as so many people are. If I acted crazy, I did it for God; if I acted overly serious, I did it for you. Christ's love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do.

A New Life

 14-15Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.

 16-20Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you.

 

Message

            He was their area minister and it was his job to help the church deal with the issues they were facing.  That isn’t an easy job in any situation.  People don’t always want to hear what they need to hear and this area minister wasn’t afraid to speak what he believed to be the truth.

            The city of Corinth was a port city and had a rough reputation but honestly not any worse than any U.S. city.  I know that isn’t saying much but some of the reputation might have been undeserved.  Allegations of temple prostitution may be more gossip than fact as it was contrary to the Greek custom.  Still there were problems in the city and in the church. 

            Paul had originally come there on a missionary journey.  You can read about it in Acts 15-18.  He came from Athens and not long after Priscilla and her husband Aquila came too.  They had left Rome after Claudius expelled all the Jews about A.D. 40.  Priscilla and Aquila become friends and teachers to Paul.  They also shared a trade – tentmaking.  Paul’s job as area minister apparently did not pay enough to earn him a living.  Honestly I doubt he made anything at all, except for whatever offerings the churches took for him and his ministry.

            Paul was a passionate man, whether he was hunting down Christians as he did in his earlier days or hunting down lost souls as he was doing now.  You remember Paul’s story? 

            Back then he was known as Saul, a good Roman citizen who believed that the message of Jesus was threatening the Jewish way of life, and went to the high priest asking for permission to go to synagogues at Damascus and find people who belonged to “The Way” as the movement was called then.  Having received permission, he set out and then a light from heaven flashed around him and he fell to the ground and heard, “Saul, why are you persecuting me?”  That experience not only changed Saul but blinded him as well.  He was told to go into the city and wait to be told what to do next.  In the meantime God had prepared a man named Ananias to meet him.  This wasn’t an easy thing for Ananias to do.  Paul was evil, he was the enemy, he was out to get Ananias and now God asked him to welcome the man into his own home and protect him.  And somewhat unwillingly he did so.  Everything changed in what was to come.  Saul became Paul, a follower of the very Way that he tried to eliminate and Ananias forgave Saul for all the evil he had done.  Wouldn’t you love to have been there when Saul’s eyes were opened and he found that everything he believed was wrong?  My Lord, what a morning that would have been.

            Yesterday the diaconate spent the day with Hope Reyes, a consultant in conflict mediation and personal peacemaking.  We met as we are both on the region’s conflict mediation team.  Hope is experienced.  I am still in training even though we have been on a mediation team together.  I’m learning a lot from her.

            You see, I know you will find this very hard to believe but every once in a while, a church has some conflict.  Unfortunately it happens all too often.  And it is hard to understand.  The place where one would expect to find safety and acceptance is often the place where the biggest fights break out among God’s people.  I hope you will stay today for a short two hour workshop on personal peacemaking led by Hope.  Lunch will be served by the youth and Christian Education and then the work of God’s people will begin. 

            Paul had to take the time to address the issues of the church in Corinth.  Partisan politics, morality issues and theological problems created major problems in that church and 1st and 2nd Corinthians are written about how Paul helped them deal with their problems.  He addressed then, and readdressed them.  They didn’t go away easily.  But Paul kept at them and loved them through the difficulties. 

            You might not always agree with Paul, but we have been changed by two things here:  The first is Paul’s passion for spreading the gospel and second by the willingness of Ananias to forgive Paul and let him into his home.  Without Ananias letting Paul in, God might have been knocking on a lot of doors trying to find someone else willing to let Saul, the Christian hater in.  And for all we know, Ananias wasn’t the first one God asked.  But he was the one who opened the door.  His forgiveness made all the difference for Paul and for us.

            If you were to flip over a few more pages to 2 Corinthians 9:7 you would find this verse:  “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  You hear that often during stewardship campaigns but you know that God also loves a cheerful forgiver.  Sure, God will accept a grudging forgiver but think about how much more God is please when we forgive cheerfully.

            We have talked about forgiveness before and how not forgiving not only damages relationships but it damages our own souls.  Not forgiving hurts us every bit as much as it hurts the person we don’t forgive.  It isn’t an easy thing to do.  I know that myself.  But my friends, it is an absolutely necessary thing to do – for the person in question, for you and for your relationship with God.

            Hear me now –  it isn’t only your relationship with another that is damaged when you don’t forgive; your relationship with God is damaged as well.  Do not be lulled into believing that you and God are on the best terms possible when you don’t forgive someone.  God absolutely wants us to be as open as Ananias was to Saul.        

            Now having said that, let me also say that I know that forgiving someone can be the very hardest thing you have been asked to do.

            You probably heard about Megan Meier, a fourteen year old with a poor self-image as many fourteen year old girls have.  Then her life changed by the attention of a sixteen year old boy on Myspace.  Myspace is an internet community that allows people to “talk” to each other. 

            The boy began to send messages telling her she was cute, that he liked her, etc. and she blossomed.  Her mother says she was happier than she had been in a long time….then a week later, Megan committed suicide.

            You see, the mysterious boy suddenly began posting derogatory comments about Megan, calling her names my mother would prefer I didn’t say.  He also said that the world would be better off without her.  Crushed, Megan took her own life.

            But that isn’t the end of the story.  There was no sixteen year old boy, only the mother of a sometime friend of Megan’s.  The mother wanted to find out what Megan was saying about her own daughter so she created this boy and lured Megan into trusting him.

            Still believe that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?  No, we all know that is not true.  Words haunt us long after the broken bones have healed.  Possibly all of our lives.

            But now Megan’s parents are facing divorce (statistics of parents staying married after the death of a child are very low) and at some point they are going to have to forgive this woman.  They don’t believe she intended for this to happen but still…..all of their lives have been changed and in order for the parents to move on, they must forgive her. 

            But what does this have to do with the scripture Rod read?  Well, you see, there is this passage toward the end of that passage that says this:  “We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now.”

            “We’re speaking for Christ himself now.”  Is that frightening or what?  Paul is telling the people of Corinth that they must learn how to make peace with one another or the conflict will hurt and even destroy their community of faith. 

            When I do premarital counseling I use a book you’ve heard me talk about – “The Five Love Languages.”  Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas have authored another book about the five languages to apology.

            You see, sometimes we think that saying the words “I’m sorry” is enough.  We said it, they heard it, it is over and done with.  But just as we have our own language to feel loved – physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts and service – we have ways we feel apologized to.

            If I questioned God’s timing let me say that it was perfect this week.  I spent the week struggling about what to say this morning.  I just couldn’t figure out exactly what God wanted out of me this week and even on Thursday night I sat at my computer thinking about cleaning out closets to get out of working on it.  I am very motivated to clean closets when I don’t want to do something!  Finally I gave up and went played “Family Feud” on line for a while before going to bed.  Then Friday morning I woke up to the email from Dr. Chapman about this new book on the languages of apology and the pieces fell into place.  Believe me, I will get this for our library!!!

            He says that apology means different things to different people. Each person has a primary apology language, and one of the five speaks more deeply to them emotionally than the other four. If you don’t speak their language, they may consider your apology insincere.

            Here is what his email said:  Ever had someone apologize to you and you questioned their sincerity? Ever ask yourself why? It’s probably because they did not speak your apology language. They said, “I’m sorry.” But what you wanted to hear was, “I was wrong.” They said, “Will you forgive me?” But what you wanted to hear was, “What can I do to make this right?”

            Many of our apologies come across as insincere because we are not speaking the apology language of the offended person. If couples can learn each other's primary apology language and speak it when they offend each other, forgiveness will be much easier.

The Five Languages of Apology
# 1 - Expressing Regret – “I’m sorry.” “I feel badly about what I did.”
# 2 - Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong.” “It was my fault.”
# 3 - Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right?”
# 4 - Genuinely Repenting – “I’ll try not to do that again.”
# 5 - Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me?”

            If you can speak the right language in love and apology, it will make all the difference.  The problem is not your sincerity, the problem is that you are not speaking the right apology language.     

            I think this is another best seller.  The world isn’t full of cheerful forgivers. 

            The bottom line is that as Christ’s representatives we are to be role models for the rest of the world.  We are to love each other.  Ask for forgiveness when we hurt each other and give it when it is offered.  I’m not asking you to allow someone to continue to abuse you.  Please, please, do not do that!  You don’t have to allow the abuse to shape who you are.  You don’t have to allow the pain to continue to destroy you.  And if you can’t do it alone, God will help and I will too.

            There is a line in one of my favorite books -- Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you in the way you have hurt me.  (A New Song, Karon)

            Allow God to work in you that you too might forgive willingly if not cheerfully.  Allow God to bring to mind the things you need to do to bring about reconciliation.  Come to the workshop today to find out how you can begin to heal and offering healing to others.

            This won’t go away just because you are denying it exists.  But it can go away because God will help.