Sermon Title: Joseph: when it is time to forgive

Sermon Text: Genesis 45

Sermon Date: February 12, 2006

My cousin Linda has said that we can lay the blame for the problems in the Middle East squarely on the shoulders of Sarah and Abraham. After all even though an angel had promised them a child, Sarah was impatient and persuaded Abraham to “lie” with her servant Hagar so that she could have a child. Thus, we have Ishmael, the first child named by God in the bible, the father of the Muslim people for Muhammad is considered to be a descendant of Ishmael. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishmael)

In the story of Joseph we could lay the blame on a coat. We could say it all started with the coat of many colors given only to Joseph by an adoring father, but that wouldn’t be totally true. It started long before the coat of many colors was even made You see, while Jacob, son of Isaac, Abraham’s other son, had twelve sons, only one was his favorite. Joseph was the first son of his second but favorite wife Rachel. And Joseph played the favorite card well. He told his brother of his dreams where they were bowing down to him which does a lot for sibling rivalry.

Because of Jacob’s favoritism and Joseph’s ego, his brothers sold him into slavery and returned home to inform dad that Joseph had been killed. Jacob was inconsolable. His favorite child was lost to him.

Joseph had been taken to Egypt and sold to an officer of Pharaoh called Potiphar. Joseph, said to be quite good looking (and probably why Donnie Osmond played him on Broadway) caught the eye of Potiphar’s wife who tried to seduce him. However he rebuffed her, which landed him in jail because she didn’t take well to being spurned.

In prison with him were Pharaoh’s baker and butler who had offended the Pharaoh for reasons we are not told. But they had dreams and Joseph interpreted them. The butler would be released and get his old job back while the baker, well, he would lose his head. Joseph asked the relieved butler to remember him when he was restored to his position but he forgot, or at least he didn’t have Joseph released until a couple of years later when Pharaoh himself was having dreams no one could interpret. Joseph told him that a famine was on the way but only after a time of good harvest to prepare for it.

The outcome was that Joseph so pleased the Pharaoh that he gave him the job of prime minister and was put in charge of collection of food to avert the future famine that Joseph foresaw.

Scripture says that Joseph was given an Egyptian name, and the daughter of a priest as a wife. Two sons were born to the couple Manasseh and Ephraim. And by his careful guidance, enough food was stored so that the people of Egypt were able to survive the difficult times.

However the famine spread to across the Middle East where Jacob and his sons were not doing as well. When they learned that there was grain to buy in Egypt, Jacob sent his sons to buy some. There they came face to face with Joseph but they didn’t recognize him. But Joseph recognized them and played games with them, but eventually he told them who he was. “I am Joseph. I am Joseph your brother.” And he forgave them and his family was restored to him, and he to his family.

(Read scripture here by going to: www.biblegateway.com and looking up Genesis 45 or read from your own bible)

Can you imagine forgiving someone who had hated you so much he sold you into a life of slavery. They took him from a life of wealth and sold him into a life of misery.

We have looked at people who were equipped by God to fulfill their dreams. Noah taught us that God does not ask us to do the impossible. Abraham taught us that sometimes God asks a lot of us yet never leaves us to do accomplish it alone. Joseph teaches about the power of forgiveness and how it not only changes the lives of those we forgive, but changes our lives as well.

We are only two days away from Valentine’s Day, when a gazillion boxes of chocolates will be purchased. Even more roses will be given in undying love and more than a few diamonds will be purchased…all in the name of showing love. Romantic love. Parental love. Love between friends and even classmates. All kinds of love yet, it is also a day that stabs at the heart for those who are distanced by the inability to forgive. Let’s just face it. Valentine Day isn’t special for everyone.

A friend told me about a year when he overlooked the big day and had to make a quick dash to the drugstore hoping more than Chia pets were left. He stood in the checkout line behind a man who had apparently also forgotten. Armed with Chanel #5, a bottle of wine and flowers, he laid down his credit card and said, “That should keep her quiet.” Something is going on in that home that a few gifts won’t fix. It may take forgiveness.

Dr. Leon Saul, psychiatrist and author, writes, “I believe (a person’s) hostility to (another person) is the central problem in human affairs … that it is a disease to be cured and prevented like cancer, TB, or smallpox, and that its cure will result in healthier, better living—not only for society in general but for each individual in particular.” Leon J. Saul, The Hostile Mind (New York: Random, 1956), p. 14, as quoted by David W. Augsburger, The Freedom of Forgiveness: 70 X 7 (Chicago: Moody Press, 1970), p. 59.

I’m not sure anything can hurt us more deeply than our own inability to forgive. It stabs at our hearts and freezes our souls. When we can’t forgive we cannot be truly emotionally healthy. In some ways our inability to forgive forces us to remain at the place where we were hurt, and refuses to let us move forward.

Think about Joseph. Joseph could have let the brothers starve. He could have refused to have anything to do with them, and become a bitter old rich man.

But that isn’t how Joseph handled it. He chose to forgive, to share his wealth, and restore himself to his family. Yes, there is an element of the old Joseph who once taunted them by telling of dreams where they bowed down to him – but it is true and Joseph is in the position to help them.

By forgiving, his family has been restored to him. They all live nearby. He gets to have everyone over for Sunday dinner and a football game, watch the nieces and nephews grow up and take care of his dad in his old age.

Being rich and bitter just wouldn’t bring the same rewards. Sure he would have had his wife and sons, but he wouldn’t have had the brothers or his father. Sure the brothers sold him into slavery. He could have held that they deserved what they got, but he would have always known that when he could have done something to save them from starvation, he did nothing….all because he was right. But being right can be lonely. It can eat away at you until your insides are open, sore wounds. Being right can kill you

We all know such people. Maybe we are such a person or have been in our lifetime a person who couldn’t forgive. And we could talk about them, but quite frankly there are better ways to look at this and one is look at positive role models.

Coretta Scott King was one of those. In last Saturday’s Washington Post, this quote appeared in an article by Barbara Reynolds:

“ When whites bombed our home in Montgomery, Alabama, I was in the home with my infant daughter. We could have been killed, but I refused to give in to fear, because I had a wonderful role model, my father, Obadiah, who, like Martin, was one of the most fearless men I ever met."

"Through it all my father never hated those who burned down our home on Thanksgiving Eve," she said. "He just picked himself up and fearlessly started over again. My burned-out home prepared me for the fires next time in Montgomery. My father, like his father before him, served as the preacher's steward and chairman of the trustee board of our African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church. His example of forgiveness deepened my understanding of the commitment needed to face and eventually triumph with love over hate.

You can be right and alone, or you can seek reconciliation and find redemption. Let’s face it. Sometimes we need to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes we need to take the first step, even when we have been wronged. And we need to do it because God asks us to forgive, just as Joseph was asked to forgive.

Here are three steps to achieve reconciliation:

First, look at the big picture. It has been said, “life is too short and death is too permanent.” Joseph could have stayed in the past, but instead he saw that God used this terrible experience for good. God used this experience because Joseph allowed God to work in his life and take the dregs and use it for good. I don’t think Joseph would have been second in command unless he had the heart God wanted for that job. If Joseph had been bitter he would not have had the compassion for others that he did. If Joseph had been angry, it would have affected his everyday life, his marriage, his relationship with his children and even his health. But instead Joseph allowed God to use the pieces of his life and use them for good…for everyone. The famine did not wipe out Egypt because Joseph allowed God to work in his life. Joseph allowed God to heal the hurts inflicted by someone else.

The second step demands repentance.   A friend once commented "a person who has done you wrong will never forgive you." This type of attitude is called guilt transference and we have all had a dose of it at some time or other. Joseph does seem to rub it in a bit with his "you sold me into Egypt", but this does serve to make them face their past actions. There can be no reconciliation unless we face the wrong we have done, admit it and turn from it. In fact, there is seldom forgiveness without repentance. Most of us aren’t that good at offering unconditional forgiveness, so there may not actually be such a thing. Genuine repentance on our part is needed to rebuilding relationships.
      The third step demands forgiveness - the putting away of past hurts. Not an easy thing to do. Actually, Joseph seems to have reached out in forgiveness long before his brothers embraced him. Clearly it was his understanding of God's place in the big picture that gave him the edge on forgiveness.
      Here then are elements for reconciliation. Looking to God's big plan rather than our own pain, genuine repentance and forgiveness.

And there is one more role model for us to always keep in front of us. Jesus. Jesus could have despised Judas for betraying him, but he didn’t. Jesus could have refused to forgive the disciples who fell asleep in the garden while he prayed, on the night Judas betrayed him…but he didn’t. Jesus could have refused to forgive Peter who swore he would die for him, then betrayed him while Jesus was on trial….but he didn’t. In fact, Peter was the one to whom Jesus entrusted the future of the church he had begun.

In John 21, Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” And three times Peter said, “yes, you know I do.” Then “Feed my sheep.” Take care of those I’m leaving behind. Continue to teach them what I have begun. Lead the way so that others will follow.

My prayer for each of us today is that God will give us the courage to reach out and forgive. That God will give us the courage to give forgiveness when someone asks us to forgive them. And also for courage to forgive ourselves when we fall short of our own expectations.

Remember this: God does not ask us to do the impossible and even when it is difficult, God will not leave us to attempt it alone. Jesus wasn’t left alone and neither are we. Thanks be to God.